My Statement

Dead asleep, I woke up to the sharp sound of the doorbell. I rubbed my eyes, then propped up on one arm to look at the time. It's 3:23, but what day is it?

Slightly disoriented from sleep, and still wondering if I was really tired enough to sleep through an entire day, I peeled myself off the couch to answer the door.

My neighbor's daughter was in the doorstep holding a puppy. Hello Charlotte*. Charlotte and I are both the same age; I am just a few months her senior. Her mother lives across the street, and when she visits she always stops by to say hello, usually with some envious news, like "I'm getting married," or "I'm having a baby girl!" While she is married with a beautiful daughter, I am single and working towards a professional career. And now she has a puppy, Sparks*.

When I hang out with Charlotte, I think about Miller*, a guy friend who gave me his opinion on women in professional careers. He thought law school was a bad idea because I would never have time to raise a family, and raising kids makes women happy. I am glad that I am friends with the male expert on my sex.

However, this advice had a particular meaning today. When Charlotte commented on how sleepy I looked, I stopped my normal complaining routine, immidiately noticing that she looked exhausted. I substituted "I have so much going on right now with exams," for "How is the baby; is she getting bigger?"

Apparently the baby is getting bigger, and harder to keep up with. Charlotte is tired, and she just found out she is expecting again. After looking as if this was much to handle, she just said, "Why not have all my kids while I'm still young?"

Nevertheless, she is happy and I am happy for her. Despite her happiness, Miller's statement still rings untrue to me. I am happy too, and I don't have kids.

Here is the truth. Women are tired because they raise kids, just like women are tired because they are nurturing a career. People have different ways of life, yet are all happy in their different ways. For example, while Charlotte found solace in having all of her kids at a young age, I found that hard to comprehend.

For the career woman who does not find Miller or Charlotte's statements practical, the following is my statement: Women are happy because they have careers (*2); why not establish a career and then have kids?






Footnote 1. The * symbol indicates I have omitted the actual name and replaced it.

Footnote 2, (*2). Unlike Miller's statement, studies in the psychology of women support the claim that women with careers are actually happier than housewives. Women who have professional careers reported less depression in old age because they felt a greater sense of accomplishment during their lives. However, housewives are more likely to be depressed in old age and have reported wishing they had a career while they were young. http://womensmedia.com/lunchtalk/2006/08/16/